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The big D looms. It's weird how to people could think nothing would change after you say I do. But it does. I don't know why or how but it does. I am now looking to move on. I see myself bored with the moment and can't wait for the change to end. I am sorta in limbo. My roommate is moving out then my soon to be ex will be my new official roomate. Interesting. Well i hope to find my own place to dwell.... alone my thoughts my wants my interest mmmmeeeeeeeee!!!!

I went and seen mars wednesday in SUltan. It was great glad i didn't miss it. Looking forward to joining the astronomical society here in everett, get a telescope go camping, etc.

Looking forward to a long weekend whenever that will be. Go camping hiking swimming star gazin.

time goes on and tempers flare... I'm glad my soon to be ex wife returned yet agin to florida and unfortunately return soon. I was hoping maybe to just ignore it and it'll go away but life doesn't play fair damn. Oh well we both may come out of this with a hint of liking for one another.


My wife says she didn't give up but that i agrree to the divorce. What am i going to say NO DIVORCE like that would work. She's trying to lead me on and i don't like it. We're past the point of no return, it wouldn't feel right to get back together. I can't be with someone who always sees the bad i do and not the good. Oh well

It makes me feel good when someone says something nice to let me know they're still thinking aobut me either intentionally or sub-consciencly, further analize the situation, it could be a ploy to make me think that so i would pay more attention. In any case i feel good.


I need nature i want to go camping so bad i acan taste it, will i ? Yes yes yes

Cowen my tr usty canine companion really want to go play so we shall

It's official my wife and i are going to seperate and probably divorce. I can't say that the prospect of living on my own isn't exciting. I can't wait to live by myself. Although this all hurts terribly i know somethings are meant to be. And i will probably be the blamed one in the relationship. At least we are trying to remain friend and i hope it all works out in the end for colleen.

In a sadder note i learned yesterday my fathe has tumors Aghhhhh!!!!!!!!!

In a happier not my first batch of homebrew is coming along great.

Cowen my pooch and best friend is a true character. He likes to march around on top of my usually high bed like it's his kingdom. Approaching felines are investigated with curious looks and wimpers. Only when they couragiuosly mount the bed is there a power struggle that leaves the 70lb sock sucker begging for forgiveness. he doesn't know when to stop. Cats don't like their ass sniffed i guess.
on another note the gym is doing me good. I am tired and find it easier to sleep at nite as well as more energy in the day. My schedule will change soon and i will be working awesome hours i can't wait to awake early and have my whole day to enjoy.i guess i will be moving on to better things in my work an oppurtunity i've benn waiting for. although with only working 40 hrs i won't know what to do with all my free time. i guess cowen will get alot of that time. Maybe my wife if she wants.
well i am giving into fatique and will sleep. i love feeling like this when my eyes are struggling just to stay open.

Well time has passed but i don't really know what i have been doin except a bit of work splashed with some gym time.....dog time .....wine time. My spouse decided to stay an extra week so i am on my own for a little more. Say she's "not ready to leave" and doesn't wnat to deal with issues here. Which i can understand the issue with me. But as of last week there is no issue for me to worry about and well whatever the other issues are i guess they're easier for me to deal with. Sometimes i wonder if she remembers she's 28 and responsibility will always be there she can't run from it. And it's going to be there (in her face) if i'm not there. I don't think i could leave for 3 weeks and trust her with maintaining accounts. So next time i'll get a kennel and an accountant.
I don't mean to be rude but i find very little effort on my wife's part. I hope she proves me wrong i thought i married a woman who was in charge of her life and wanted to share it with me not someone who is scared to love. I will be disappointed if that's the case. Time will tell.
WORK WORK WORK is awesome i am finally try new breads and developping new things. franch baker arrives tomorrow i am very excited and it's my half day will finish having ALEX(wife's car) accesorised. I hope she likes everything.

It intersting how my thoughts over a time change. It deffinately seems as if it is a whimsickel time for me. One day i fret over a relationship i love to hate and the next a relationship i hate to love. People ar etruelly interesting. Well i guess i am a people so maybe not so. I wish i understood the human psychi a bit more. Well for my self i blurt out thoughts with out thinking. I should be more reserve or maybe more sassy. I wish the labido was .........well controllable but unfortantely it is.
my other half (as the gov't is concerned) is in coco beach i hope having a good time. and i pic up my son (canine son) tomorrow
i need some type of compassionate affection. well i am home brewed tipsy and still trying to find out if chardonay grapes are realy white.